Friday, February 10, 2012

Unexpected Life Changes

For the last eleven years I have been a caregiver, first to my mother and then to my father after she passed away. I embraced this role gladly without reservation nor resentment as I felt it was just something I was supposed to be doing - caring for my parents.

Suddenly without warning this past Monday afternoon I was no longer a caregiver. My father passed away in his own home and on his own terms - the best possible scenario for him.

I am heartbroken and missing my father so much I can hardly bear it. He was an integral part of my daily life as I was always thinking about him, talking to him on the phone and seeing him around town on his little red scooter: in Trader Joe's, in front of the local donut shop or even on campus at CSULB. I always enjoyed how he would light up when he realized it was me walking toward him when we met outside of our homes. He'd call out to the nearest stranger, "look- here's my daughter, my very own daughter!".

I have no regrets, only sadness that it will be a very long time before I see him again but am comforted by the thought that he is now back together with my mother.
Bill & Jean
Bear with me here while I take the time to get back my crafting/cooking/blogging mojo.
Take care,
Susan

32 comments:

  1. So sorry for your loss Susan.
    Amy

    ReplyDelete
  2. Susan, I am so sorry for the loss of your father....bless you in these difficult days...Debbie

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Susan, I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. Please know that you are in my prayers.
    Melissa

    ReplyDelete
  4. Susan I'm so sorry for your loss. If you need anything don't hesitate to let me know. You're in my prayers.

    Lyanna

    ReplyDelete
  5. Susan - I am so sorry for your loss! I have always enjoyed the posts about your family, they all seem like the most wonderful people. Sending you virtual hugs from across the blogosphere.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Please take comfort in the fact that you were with him until he passed, the fact he went in peace and surrounded by your love. He will always be with you - you know that and just know time will not help but that lump in your stomach and feeling of desperation will go away. God bless

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am so sorry for your loss Susan. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh dear Susan. Take comfort in your wonderful memories of your father. ((((((((Susan)))))))))

    Marilyn

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh Susan, I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. I'm sorry for the "suddenness" of it too, as I've experienced this too, and know you've had more than your share of loss. I know your boys and husband will pull you though, as mine did. We'll all be thinking of you and will totally understand your absence here. (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
  10. Susan, I am so sorry about your father. My prayers are with you and your family. It is so wonderful that you were able to be there as his caregiver when he needed you this past while. Take care of yourself.
    Roberta

    ReplyDelete
  11. Susan, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. You two had such a wonderful relationship, I can't even imagine your loss. Please take care of yourself and let me know if you need anything. Peace be with you, my friend!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh sweetie! Know that we are here for you! Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm so sorry, Susan. It's so painful to lose our moms and dads. I'm sending you hugs and prayers and will be thinking of you over these next most difficult weeks.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Susan, I'm so so sorry, and I am always here when you need a chat or virtual hug. I wish I was there in person to deliver a real one. You're in my thoughts a lot and I hope the loss becomes easier to bear. You know if you need anything, I'm here. :) sending lots of love your way,
    Jen

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh, my, I'm so sorry for you loss.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Gentle Hugs to you. My thoughts and prayers are with you, also. Come back to us when you can, and don't forget how healing crafting can be.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm so sorry about your dad. Take time to take care of yourself.
    Heather in BC

    ReplyDelete
  18. You have memorialized your father with an incredibly beautiful post, so heartfelt, and a lovely picture of both of your parents. I'm sure he is looking down upon you, proud of the daughter he raised to be such a caring person. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. ((hugs))

    Zina

    ReplyDelete
  19. It sounds like he was a wonderful man and that you had the best times with him! I hope you will take the time you need, that you will be kind to yourself, and I am sending my warmest wishes.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I am so very sorry to hear about your dad. I will be praying for you and your family. Take your time and let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Susan I am do sorry to hear about your loss. My prayers are with you. Jackie

    ReplyDelete
  22. I have been listening to you for a while now, since I love history and quilting. I wanted to write to you to send my sympathy for your father's loss. My dad went to sleep watching TV almost five years ago, at the young age of 70, and I miss him still.

    There are no words that I can say to ease the pain or any magic formula I can give for grieving. I did enjoy hearing people talk about my Dad and tell stories of his life; I try to tell them to my own children so that the stories will live on.

    All the best.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hi Susan, I am new to your podcast, but have been enjoying "catching up". I just listened to your podcast where you talked about making your mom's recipes and seeing her handwriting. I am sorry for your loss. Parents are wonderful and we are so lucky to be blessed with them!

    Jenny in Utah

    ReplyDelete
  24. I am a long time listener but have never thanked you for all your podcasts you so generously give to us. I am sorry for your loss of both of your parents. I am very blessed to be an adult with both my parents living but know the days are numbered. Wishing you many happy memories of them until you see them again! And thank you for all the time you so freely give to us!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I just heard about your Dad, and I'm so sorry. Sounds like you had a wonderful relationship and were such a good daughter to both your parents. I'll remember you in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hey Susan, I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for you and yours.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Susan, I haven't been online much lately and am now just reading your post about your Papa. I am so sorry. I am also glad you had a Dad like him. It isn't always so common and you were blessed. I feel for your grieving heart and wish you the best.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Susan, I am so sorry! I am only now seeing this and I am so sorry for your loss. Papas and little girls have a special friendship and I know you will miss him. How nice that he's with your mom now - they are a striking couple. Take good care of yourself.

    ReplyDelete