Monday, August 6, 2012

Saying Goodbye

Six months ago today my father passed away and for the most part I have kept this blog a place where I only share the positive of what is going on in my life. Everyone of us goes through sad and painful challenges and I believe mine are no different.  Today's post is truly a selfish one for I do not expect anyone to fully understand what I am going through as everyone of us moves through grief in different paths.  The need to write about this has compelled me for days so bear with me, dear reader, while I use this blog as a cathartic medium for my thoughts.  

Today I am saying goodbye to my parent's house as escrow is closing and it will no longer be my responsibility.  Although not the house I grew up in, this house does have special meanings to me - many that  I did not fully realize until just recently.  

My father and I hosted his sibling's reunion in that house. A wonderfully joyous event with Aunt's and Uncles and cousins...tons of cousins.  
My father with his brother and three sisters. 
I took my boys trick-or-treating to that house for many years. 
Obi Wan and a Power Ranger visited Papa in 2002
My father and I helped to take care of my mother and grieved for her when she passed, in that house. 
My parents with four of their grandchildren - November 2003
There are many more reasons why this house is important but those memories are all wrapped up in the furniture inside as the buyer is also purchasing most of the furniture that belonged to my parents.  So many of those pieces hold memories: childhood memories of where those pieces were in the house I grew up in, memories of playing on top or under furniture and memories of being with my parents when they bought various pieces.  

My father was a Navy man and proudly flew this flag outside his garage door.  He would ask me to "fix it" every time we were out in the front together.  I have continued to "fix it" every day since he passed and last night I took it down and brought it home with me. There were many tears as I walked though the house, left all of my keys on a table and locked the door behind me.
Lastly, my lovely cousin recently sent me this photo of my parents in front of the first house they ever owned together.  How young and happy they look.

Thank you for obliging me this final goodbye. Now time for my renewal.


  1. Wow Susan - I can understand what an emotional and meaningful time this is for you! You are right that we all go through times like this, but when we are in the middle of our own times, it can be SO difficult and heavy. Blessings to you as you travel through these days and as you say - into the future, and a renewal. xo

  2. I'm glad escrow finally closed even though I know it's painful for you. *hugs*

  3. You go ahead and feel your pain. I believe you only feel the good days when you know what the sad days feel like. Last week was the 20th anniversary of my husbands death. It was a sad day, filled with happy memories.

  4. This is such a nice post. It is so nice to see how a house is much more than a building. You have showed us how a house is a home. I think that you could write a similar one with many, many photos and memories every day for the next several months. Perhaps you will write a few more and allow us to enjoy more photos. Thanks for sharing!
    PS Glad escrow is closing! JL

  5. This is a beautiful tribute Susan. You brought tears to my eyes. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

  6. (((hugs))) Such a difficult thing. I hope you find some peace.

  7. We all grieve, but that doesn't lessen any one person's pain. (((Susan))) We're always here to listen when you need to lay your head.
    I love that black and white pic of your parents.. so charming!

  8. What a lovely post for both of your parents. I'm sure it is a relief to finally be able to move on past the drama of escrow, and now you have some wonderful memories. Yay!

  9. It's so hard to walk through this kind of grief...putting one foot in front of the other as you try to keep going. So many wonderful memories here... I'm praying for healing and joy to come to you in the weeks ahead, Susan.

  10. hugs to you and prayers to find peace and comfort in this difficult time. Memories can not be sold or taken away. You have some great ones at that house

  11. Susan, my thoughts are with you during this difficult time. May you find comfort in the memories of your loved ones, both past and present.

  12. Thanks for allowing us to share your pain, and offer up prayers and hopes for better days. What a wonderful way to put words and pictures to your feeling with the mixture of sadness and relief in the house finally closing. My heart is sad for you. May you find joy in your time of renewal.

  13. You are so good at putting your feelings into words. Thank you for sharing your sadness in such an eloquent way. Blessings to you & your family! <3

  14. Susan, so sorry for your loss but having walked through the death of my mother and my only brother within six weeks of each other, I do truly understand all the stages of grief you are experiencing. God Bless.
    Glenna in TX

  15. What a lovely poignant post. Thank you for sharing your words and pictures.